July 2014

Anne Marvin Blog Posts

The Yardstick

The Yardstick

Lately I’ve been called to evaluate the metrics by which we measure success in our lives. What yardstick do we use? It seems that different people use different measures and that perhaps we’re all in need of a big dose of standardization in the life-o-meter department. I attended the funeral for the mother of a childhood friend recently. She was also a second mother to me but even so, the death hit me harder than I had expected. Part of it, too, was because this death came almost one year to the day after the death of my own mother. And of course I wouldn’t be human if I hadn’t engaged in a bit of comparison shopping while going through the activities attendant to death–the funerals and the aftermath of two women who could not have been more different in life and who we celebrated in such divergent ways in death.… READ MORE

Doing What Comes Unnaturally

Doing What Comes Unnaturally

I’m still totally enmeshed in Thea Harrison’s Elder Races world these days. And the deep thoughts she inspires are coming fast and furious. Today, I’m reflecting on the fact that I have something in common with Dragos. No, I can’t shapeshift into a dragon the size of a G5, nor have I suddenly become fabulously wealthy, more’s the pity. But I do share with Dragos the fact that Pia is fast becoming one of my best teachers, particularly with respect to how to have a successful relationship. One of Pia’s consistent tendencies throughout the evolution of her relationship with Dragos has been to fight her own instincts on how to behave for the benefit of their growing connection and so that she can share a life with him. That is extremely hard to do, and requires tremendous self-awareness as well as strength of will. Overcoming the impulses of our lizard… READ MORE

Me and Mick

Me and Mick

Have you ever had the experience of grief over one specific person or event and it triggers a veritable parade of sad things to think about? You know what I mean–you can be upset about a recent death (or a break-up, even) and that leads to playing “Paint It Black” on endless repeat and then you start thinking about every single sad thing that’s ever happened to you, including the ending of The Fault in Our Stars (or if you are older Brian’s Song or Love Story). And you end up crying with your face all puffy and red (unless you are a pretty crier, in which case I don’t like you). And if you are able to really work yourself into an epic cry, you can get to the “sobbing so hard it’s difficult to catch your breath” phase, and then you have truly arrived at cathartic misery. Until… READ MORE

The Arithmetic of Love

The Arithmetic of Love

As you may have guessed by now, I am a bulimic reader. I binge read individual authors and then I spew forth my thoughts about said writer onto the pages of these blogs. Probably a remnant of my disordered eating days, but a lot less messy, not to mention way healthier. But I digress before I’ve even gotten started. Oh, well. Back to the subject at hand, or rather to begin the subject at hand, I’m coming to the end of my Jessica Sims binge. And I’m lovin’ it!  But that’s not the subject, either. The subject, my friends, is the arithmetic of love. Does love expand as we add to it or is love a zero sum game? This particular contemplation was inspired by Jessica Sims’ novella, Vixen, about a were-fox whose animal nature inclines her toward polyamory. In other words (and, in fact, in another language all together) ménage… READ MORE

The Giggles of Girlfriends

The Giggles of Girlfriends

I’m reading my last Molly Harper book (at least until she writes another one, which will be soon, I hope). This one is called Better Homes and Hauntings and it focuses on ghosts rather than my beloved vampires, weres and fae. So while this one probably won’t go down in the all time hall of fame, I’m particularly enjoying the author’s portrayal of female friendships and the joys thereof. For me, there is nothing quite like the happiness to be found in laughing hysterically with a close girlfriend and having that laughter feed off itself, becoming magnified by being passed back and forth till you’ve got tears running down your face and snot erupting out of your nose. Not pretty, I know, but that is the beauty of female friendships–it’s OK to look hideous while crying with mirth. In fact, the mucous adds to the merriment. Disgusting but true. I experienced this… READ MORE

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