April 2016

Anne Marvin Blog Posts

Obtaining the Unobtainable

Obtaining the Unobtainable

“What is your shameless vision?”  So began the class I just started, where all 26 of us sat in a circle and bared our souls. Glare and share at its finest. Thankfully, I was toward the end of the pack, so I had some time to formulate my answer and listen to those of others. The question was framed quite specifically. It assumed the existence of a vision for ourselves.  It also assumed that this vision was somehow obscured by shame, the malignant growth that cripples many of our dreams and much of our reality. Often, we don’t feel worthy of our dreams, and so we abandon them like toddlers bored with their toys.  But we weren’t bored, just too afraid to hope, too scared to act, too defeated to go on. When that happens, our dreams, visions, and hearts’ desires get relegated to that most depressing of categories—the unobtainable.… READ MORE

Through a Glass Darkly

Through a Glass Darkly

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-image. I’m still being inspired by Kresley Cole’s latest Immortals After Dark offering, Sweet Ruin. In the book, about which I’ve written previously, the protagonist, Rune, is limited by self-imposed restrictions because he can see himself only in one way. He has not been able to break out of the prison of his own self-image and is therefore crippled in what he believes he can and cannot do. As with so many of the characters in my beloved fantasy novels, art imitates life, and Rune’s dilemma mirrors that of so many of us. I’ve written before about how others see us, but today I’m contemplating how we see ourselves, and the myopia within which it can cage us. Our self-image is a construct of the messages we receive… from society, the media, our parents, our peers and authority figures like teachers and counselors. Unless… READ MORE

Tactical Considerations

Tactical Considerations

I arrived in my Yin yoga class agitated and distraught. This is not the preferred state of mind for aspiring yogis. I know this. I couldn’t help it though. Shit is hitting the fan, chaos reigns supreme, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… okay, maybe there wasn’t actual human sacrifice, but this week has been wrought with emotion. It started with one betrayal bomb, which I wrote about here, and the hits kept coming. If circumstances allowed me to focus on cleaning up the fallout I’d be relieved. Instead, I find myself ducking and covering as new bombs explode around me. I’m under fire on several fronts. And it sucks. So, back to my mat. My consciousness was streaming. My heart was imitating Eminem’s snare drum. Not the best place from which to practice meditative yoga of the restorative variety. But lo and behold, the miraculous occurred (and yes, I… READ MORE

Betrayal

Betrayal

I feel gutted. Flayed. Filleted. I’ve been betrayed, and there is no worse feeling. It is painful.  Sick. Wrong. At various points this week, it’s been hard to take a deep breath. My eyes leak constantly.  I’m angry. I’m hurt.  I’m filled with self doubt. How could she be that awful? How could I be that stupid? In the midst of all this upheaval, I haven’t known how to arrange myself to find comfort.  Even my skin seems tight around my muscles and bones. So, what to do?  Whine? No, read. I made a beeline for Dragon Bound, my very favorite binky-like book, the one that soothes my jangled nerves and calms my restless heart. And what did I find, almost on page one of Thea Harrison’s most wonderful creation? That the “inciting incident” — as novelists in the know call it — was the main character’s betrayal by an… READ MORE

Finding Gratitude

Finding Gratitude

I’m having trouble finding gratitude right now. I’ve written before of how I used to pray for a grateful heart because there was a big hole in mine where my gratitude should be. I believed that I’d gotten over this problem; worked through my issues and found what I’d been missing. Except it’s missing again. Not entirely, and not the way it used to be. I don’t have a gaping crater in the center of my chest, feeling like the mouth of some dried up volcano. Instead, I feel the gratitude for my wonderful life—I don’t need angelic visitations to remind me of the fact that I’m blessed beyond measure with health, love and abundance. But I can’t seem to go deep, to dive in as I often do, and swim in the warm, enveloping waters of my intense gratitude for this existence of mine. I’m sure you are familiar… READ MORE

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